Showing posts with label salud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label salud. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

El que busca, encuentra



Hoy en día es muy sencillo poder externar nuestras dudas y/o conocimiento gracias a los alcances y el anonimato que internet nos brinda. Una de las formas más comunes de hacerlo es a través de los portales de preguntas y respuestas. Un día, navegando tranquilamente por uno de estos lugares, me encontré a alguien con una pregunta, digamos... que creo que fue entre lo morboso y lo inocente; y una respuesta que deja ver una experiencia innegable.

Esto fue lo que encontré:

First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don’t reommend that disposal method, I’m just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it’s in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it’s easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can’t do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It’s also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it’s an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It’s also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It’s not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn’t want to go. Anyway it’s wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don’t return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You’ll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you’ll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you’re get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don’t try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don’t over-use it, or power drills or saws. They’re noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It’s better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you’re not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Me recordó a una ecena de la película Snatch, o Nny, un personaje oscuro y encantador. Nada como la información detallada, por si se ofrece...


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

El verdadero valor de la ciencia

Me gusta la ciencia, siempre me ha gustado, pero fue triste saber que mi existencia es tan normal y monótona (no me super cuido, pero tampoco me dejo consumir por vicios y enfermedades) que yo valgo poco para la ciencia. En caso de morir, el dinero que pagarían por mi cadaver es tan poco que sólo bastaría para 1 buen día de compras, pero nada más.

Y tu cuerpo, cuánto vale para la ciencia?


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Friday, May 4, 2007

Mitos y Leyendas


Yo siempre pensé que algunos consejos que dan las abuelitas, eran en realidad un mito... pero no. Ahora me tocó experimentar de primera mano, que el vox populi tiene mucho de verdad.
El otro día hice un coraje enorme en mi trabajo, nada demasiado trasendental que después de 1 hora, ya lo había olvidado. Más tarde, a la hora de la cena, estaba comiendo una deliciosa empanada de jamón y queso y se me ocurrió ponerle aguacate, a pesar de las advertencias de que comer aguacate después de un coraje hace daño. Y si, hace daño. Ahora tengo una duodenitis (inflamación del duodeno, una de las secciones del aparato digestivo) espantosa que no me dejó dormir ayer debido a los espasmos y calambres que provoca.
Pues qué se le va a hacer, tengo enfermedad de alto ejecutivo o C.E.O. y recibo un sueldo de obrero... y luego me dicen que no me estrese y que me lo tome con calma!

En fin, ahora tengo que cuidarme, con las indicaciones más extrañas que jamás haya recibido de un doctor: 'no puedes comer verduras' Que tal, eso sí que nunca lo había oido.